Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Missionaries Need Playstations

I had to take a break from the usual firearm news to share this personal story with you.

I am selling my Playstation 3 on Scammer Central Craigslist. The other morning I received 2 text messages from different people around 3:00 AM in the morning asking about the PS3. The following is what was said verbatim. I will add some remarks which will be in blue. Remember both of these people are communicating with me at the same time, but for clarification I will separate the two conversations for easy reading.

We'll name the people Too Early and Mrs Goldbelg.

Too Early: what is your best offer? what is your best offer?Playstation 3 - 80gb with 9 games. - $200 (NW)

Me: We just lowered it from 250 so 200 is the best.thanks

Too Early: thanks for your swift response,Am highly interested in purchase this item from you am a eBay buyer i just have some problem with my eBay account plus am purchasing this item for my fiance who had to finish is missionary course in West Africa as a gift. ( Are you fucking kidding me? Does Africa even have the internet? ) i will offer you $400 for the item including the shipping cost I'll be paying you with with Paypal ( Hell no, scam alert! ) so if you are interested to sell for me get back.

Me: How about this, ill sell it to you face to face for 200 otherwise that paypal story is a really bad scam. ( what a scamming douchebag! )

Too Early: i know your worries and that is why i have choose to deal with the bank or paypal. if there is anything phishy, the bank or paypal can trace anyone and get hold of the person. that's why am going to pay you via PayPal or bank. I have also been scammed and i was a victim. ( aww you were scammed too i cry for you.) i will be glad if you can help me and post the item

Me: No thanks i have a local buyer. ( My way of saying "shut the fuck up we are done here." )

Here is the second guy trying to buy from scam me.

Mrs Goldbelg: Playstation 3 - 80gb with 9 games - $200 (NW)nice stuff.. do you still have them?? and what your final price?

Me: Still have it. Lowest i can do is 190

Mrs Goldbelg: okay do you still have the box?? charger? and how long have it been used?? Mrsgoldbelg

Me: I may have the box i would need to check. I have the cable to charge the controllers and its 2 years old

Mrs Goldbelg: okay sounds good am local as you can see my number is from California ( Yea cause I know all the area codes in the USA by heart dickhead ) but i made i little travel okay right now i want it here were i am can you send it to me if i pay you $200 and add 70 for the posting ?? Mrsgoldbelg

Me: You are in california right now?

Mrs Goldbelg: my current location is Africa were i have a poultry farm business, ( REALLY? AFRICA! YOU DON"T SAY! ) i came here to inspect it and will not be back until two month time.... so kindly get the shipping cost and summerize it with the item amount so i can get the money to you paid to you... thanks Mrsgoldbelg

Me: Sorry, i only do face to face.

Mrs Goldbelg: oops.... I understand what you are avoiding, but you don't have anything to fear about course am a genuine buyer and i have been buying things on Craigslist for years now and i hard i perfect record with seller's ... am going to make payment upfront and you will get an instant alert ( ooooh an instant alert! What the fuck are you talking about? ) to verify my payment then you can get the item mailed out to my address please i really need's these from you

At this point I turned the phone off. Two scammers both wanting a Playstation sent to Africa? Is there a room with these people just going thru all the Craigslist ads and hoping some sucker will fall into their bullshit? Why not get original and say New Zealand or Germany or something.

Next time fellas, don't start so early in the morning, spell check and watch your grammar for more effectiveness.

In the meantime, I will update my ad and specify that African Chicken Farmers will get a special bonus item from my dogs. Hint: they leave it in the backyard.

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